A lot of recruiting professionals find themselves sidetracked by the Drama Monster. The Drama Monster presents itself in many forms including, planning a wedding, moving an office, or even making coffee in the morning.
What recruiters need to remember is that the Drama Monster is self-created and only in your head. The Drama Monster is a beast that relies on self-pity to stay afloat and the kind of mindset that fosters the development of the Drama Monster unfortunately does not foster the development of your business, or your career. This mindset doesn’t help you close business, force candidates, and definitely does NOT endear you to clients.
The big question is, how do you deal with the Drama Monster before it gets too big to handle?
1. Identify the drama.
When you start saying things like, “The world is against me,” or you feel like you have no control over what happens in your life, that’s the Drama Monster taking its first bite. When paranoia seems to take over you life and you’re constantly worried that people are out to get you, it’s actually your self-perpetuated drama taking hold.
You might also find that people stop hanging out with you, and that the people who do stick around simply feed the Drama Monster that is sitting on your shoulder. They are people who become emotionally invested in your problems and they’re just as bad as the monster itself.
2. Address the drama.
You should be saying things like, “I don’t do drama,” when you feel people are trying to drag you into a situation that will sidetrack your professional career. You should tell them that you shouldn’t be involve and that you don’t want to feel that way about something that isn’t your business.
The most powerful thing that you can say to the Drama Monster, or the people in your life that feed the monster is that you don’t do guilt. They cannot guilt you into being involved in a situation that will negatively impact your mental wellbeing.
3. Stop making snap decisions.
When we’re feeling affected by the Drama Monster, we tend to make snap decisions. These decisions cause a chain reaction that could be digging your hole even deeper. Sometimes it’s better to stand still and let the dust kicked up by the Drama Monster settle. It’s when the dust settles that you can see clearly.
Taking 24 hours to not do anything and let the dust settle is the best thing that you can do in a situation where you’re cornered by the monster.
4. Stay on schedule.
Make a schedule for yourself, and stick to it religiously. Write down everything that is involved in your day-to-day business and put it into a schedule. This could include things like sourcing, qualifying and making calls. Also add in when you’re going to take a lunch break, or the exercise you do every night. You need to schedule in playtime and breaks, make them a part of your day.
One of the biggest weaknesses that the Drama Monster preys on is boredom. When you’re bored you start looking for things to do, things to worry about. If you’re bored, it means that you either aren’t busy enough, or you need to take a productive break and step away from your desk.
5. Cut off drama makers.
You don’t have to be mean to cut these people out of your daily life, just stop engaging them. You don’t need to respond to their cries for you to become involved in their drama, simply disengage from people who are high drama.
If someone is looking to include you in their drama, remember to keep it facts. Don’t allow yourself to be emotionally engaged by what’s going on in their life.
You should surround yourself with friends who aren’t drama driven. Make sure you have a coach or a mentor, someone you respect, who helps you get over the drama. They should be able to let you vent about what’s going on, but should also be there to help you let go of the drama that you’ve created for yourself. They should know that the Drama Monster severs network ties and kills business.
At the end of the day it’s important to remember that drama is an emotional tug-of-war with the people who are involved. All it does is create stress, and stress is what makes you sick. Engaging in drama isn’t a productive activity, it won’t make you money and it definitely will not get you on that sailboat when you retire.
Ultimately drama is a choice and every time you play into the Drama Monster, you only make it bigger.